To get what you want, you’ve got to ask for it first, says author Sara Laschever
Sara Laschever is an author, editor and cultural critic who has spent her career investigating the obstacles, detours and special circumstances that shape women’s lives and careers. She has written extensively about women in academia, business, arts and sciences. Her work has been published by many publications and she is the co-author of two groundbreaking books, “Women Don’t Ask: The High Cost of Avoiding Negotiation and Positive Strategies for Change” and “Ask for It! How Women Can Use the Power of Negotiation to Get What They Really Want.”
Laschever shared some staggering statistics regarding women’s average pay:
– White women earn 76 percent of what white men earn
– African-American women earn 64 percent of what white men ear
– Latino women earn 55 percent of what white men earn
The differences are even greater for more educated professionals as higher salaries create larger gaps.
Women who do consistently negotiate their salary earn at least $1 million more over the course of their careers than those who don’t.
Why not ask? Women simply don’t like to ask. They often believe that if they work hard, it will be noticed and compensated – or that they’ll be promoted when the boss thinks they’re ready.
Learn to ask. Laschever encouraged women to learn to start by assuming that everything is negotiable. There’s more than money on the table, including office space, work schedule, retirement contributions, better projects/accounts, a mentor, paid time off, tuition reimbursement and more.
Decide what you want and do the research to back up your requests. Think about short- and long-term intangibles (respect, rewarding work, etc.) and specifics (promotion, resources, etc.). Then see what people with your qualifications are earning as well as what opportunities they’re being offered, at your organization and others. Make sure you research and have a good understanding of what your organization and supervisor are dealing with, including how and when raise decisions are made, when budgets are developed, and how.
Set a high target. Women typically ask for and get an average of 30 percent less than men. Your target should be ambitious, better than your bottom line, realistic, and something you’d be thrilled to get.
Know your BATNA (best alternative to a negotiated agreement). Know what you’ll do if you aren’t able to get what you want. The strongest BATNA is the willingness to walk away. This goes both ways, so consider the other side’s alternative as well.
Choose your tactics:
Competitive bargaining is generally position-based and kind of a tug of war between parties, a distributive negotiation. Tactics include anchoring on what you want, strategic offers and counteroffers, resisting concessions and bluffing.
Collaborative bargaining involves problem-solving and integrative negotiation involving multiple issues. The better type of bargaining, these tactics include talking and listening to find creative solutions and compatible interests to get to a mutually beneficial agreement.
The workshop included bargaining exercises, from which many different solutions arose. Many eyes were opened to what women may be missing out on by not asking and not negotiating. Laschever left us with the inspiration and confidence to ask for it, along with this quote:
“It’s amazing how much you can get if you quietly, clearly, and authoritatively demand it.” – Meryl Streep
